Ways to Know When You Are Not Happy Being Single

woman-alone.jpgAs I said before in other post, I’m single and happy. I’m actually the kind of person who has spent most of her life being single so I can say I got used to it and I learned how to be single AND happy. Of course I love being in a relationship, but I usually take my time out of a relationship as a time for my self improvement. I try to learn from my previous relationship’s experiences and identify the source of my mistakes, the relationship mistakes as well, so I won’t commit them again in the future.I’m the kind of person that wants to get married and have babies (two actually), so whenever I start dating someone I think of him as marriage material. That doesn’t help me identify the wrong guys of course, we all have dated the wrong guy at some point.There was a moment in my life when I realized that it was better for me to be alone than in a relationship where my partner had a bad opinion about me; where he made me feel less than I am; where he criticized me for everything I do; where he wouldn’t appreciate everything I do for him or just what I do well; where he was abusive or too controlling; where he didn’t respect my believes, choices, decisions.The moment I started embracing my single-hood, my life took the right direction, I started making my own decisions to please nobody but myself, I loved myself for who I was. At that time I started studying fengshui , the Chinese science or art of placement, to improve the energy circulation of my room and my life in general, since then I got my dream job, my friends got closer to me and I eventually met the man of my life, my soul mate and best friend (that didn’t work out but it wasn’t anybody’s fault, it was just destiny).Since the end of last year, I found myself single again, I’m sure ready to date yet so I started focusing on all the aspects of my life that I used to take for granted, like my health, my relationship with my friends, my communication with my family and especially my results at school.I finally joined a gym where I can practice what always was just a dream for me, belly dancing; I went to all the places I always wanted to go with my friends; I took more time to listen to them and do things together; I started calling and emailing my family all over the world more often and my most amazing improvement, I started writing my graduation thesis in Chinese language. This last one has been one of my biggest challenges, since I am a native Spanish speaker studying abroad in China right now so I’m very happy and grateful now that I finished my first thesis report and my life is on the right track. I’m very happy that I am now exactly where and how I want to be, and that’s something that doesn’t happen to often.I wish all of you can feel the same way I’m feeling.One of my best friends just got her heart broken a few weeks ago. Since she’s not the kind of person who is used to being single, I really had no luck at explaining to her how she can be single AND happy. After a few days I finally made her understand why she was not making the right choices and helped her identify the clear signals that she was not happy being single.Yesterday she told me that for the first time in her life she was happy being single, I wish all of my friends who are still crying from a broken heart or lying to people so they don’t know you are single, can take a look at yourself and change all that. At first it is a little difficult to know when you are not completely happy, so here are ways to know when you are not happy being single:

  1. You don’t go to restaurant’s by yourself.
  2. You rent/buy all kind of romantic movies to spend the weekend in front of the TV.
  3. Your refrigerator is 90% ice cream and the rest is left over from Chinese takeout
  4. You avoid couple’s conversation at your work.
  5. You don’t go to family meetings or weddings where you are supposed to bring a partner.
  6. You only go out for a girl’s night out.
  7. The last time you went to do your manicure was before you broke up with your ex.
  8. You haven’t visited the hairdresser in months.
  9. You avoid your friend’s engagement party to go out with a single friend.
  10. . You go to a first date already thinking that person might be “the one” and picture yourself getting married.
  11. Your mom asks you if you are seeing someone and you a)start crying and complaining about how bad it is to be single and how there are no good available bachelors out there, or b)invent someone to please your mom.
  12. You only read self-help books on learning how to “catch” him.
  13. A few of your married friends invite you out and you stay home and watch “Three’s Company” reruns.

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