- Love is definitely the number one factor for a relationship to work, for a couple to grow old together. Respect, tolerance, sacrifices and communication are some other key factors for a relationship to grow to a commitment and from there to a successful marriage. I have heard of many couples that fail because they didn’t know how to communicate, how to express their feelings, how to ask the right questions. Communication is not just about sitting and talking about the relationship, it’s more of a daily process that you can create. One of my favorite and most successful I can say technique is to always talk to your boyfriend or husband before going to sleep, those last few minutes of the day, when you can really relax and talk about your day, your worries and frustrations are priceless. I also love sending love letters and leaving notes under his pillow, under his door or hanging on the fridge. There are many different ways of communication to use.I recently watched a movie that certainly moved my heart, “The Heartbreak kid”. That movie clearly shows how bad communication can lead to a failed marriage and an unhappy life. How they didn’t ask the right questions before committing was key. I have this theory that when I get serious in a relationship, when I get engaged and finally married, I’ll know my partner as well as I know myself. I know that sounds kind of impossible, but there are many ways to learn about a person’s soul. There are a few questions that I’ll definitely ask my partner before getting serious. These are some of the questions that many people wished they would have asked before getting serious and that are never too late to ask:
- What’s the ideal relationship to you?– This question will tell you about your couple’s principles, about your partners expectations and ideals.
- How many times have you been in love?– Some people think that real love only happens once in a life time. I personally don’t think that way but I do respect people that are waiting for that special “one”. The answer to this question can tell you if your partner is the kind of person who values relationships or the kind of person who doesn’t take things seriously, who thinks he’s in love after 3 dates.
- Have you ever been broken hearted?– This question apart from telling you if he’s still broken hearted over his last girlfriend (and using you as a rebound), will tell you about his feelings. A real man will be honest with you and answer that question, because real men have feelings and get their hearts broken the same way we do. But the other kind of man who only plays with women, they’ll tell you they’ve never been broken hearted.
- What would you NOT tolerate in a relationship?– I think this is obviously a very important question, some people won’t tolerate addictions, some other won’t tolerate certain believes, I personally won’t tolerate infidelity and so on, there might be hundreds of different questions, and through that answer you’ll know if he’s the right person for you and even if you are the right person for him. If you think is worth it you can choose to change that thing he won’t tolerate, because after all, relationships are about sacrifices too.
- Why do you think relationships fail?– This won’t only tell you if he’s a positive kind of person or a negative one, but it will also tell you if he’s the kind of person who takes responsibilities for his actions or just blame all the problems and mistakes on his couple.
- Have you ever been afraid of opening up to someone?– This will allow you to get in touch with his emotional side. That way you can learn if he’s the shy or the confident type of man. The shy type will be afraid of opening up to someone, he’ll be afraid of rejection; on the other hand the confident kind of guy is the one who won’t be afraid of telling you about his feelings, about his fears. And since we are looking precisely for an open communication, this last one is the kind of guy you should always try to date. You don’t want a boyfriend that you always have to ask “what are you thinking about?”. You don’t want to be in a relationship where you’ll always be wondering “when is he going to propose?”. You want a man who can tell you “I Love You” openly, who will be confident proposing to you, you’ll tell you about his feelings when he thinks is the right moment.These are just a few of the very important questions you should ask a man before committing. In a next post I’ll keep telling the rest of those very important questions.