As I wrote in my previous post, communication is one of the key factors for a relationship to work. There are certain questions that you should ask before getting serious with your partner. The answer to all this questions will tell you about your partner’s personality, about his plans for the future, about his past experiences and mainly you’ll know what kind of person he is, if he’s shy or confident; if he’s insecure or very secure about himself.
Here are a few other questions you wish you asked before but are never too late to ask. I hope they are useful to you.
- Where do you see yourself in the next x years?– Us women are usually looking for the “husband material” kind of guy. A man who doesn’t know where does he want to be in the next few years, is a man who doesn’t plan to commit to a relationship. A man who has a clear vision of where and how does he want to be future, is the kind of man who knows what he wants, a man who is planning to commit and create a family.
- How is your family?– This will obviously tell you about his family background and you can learn about the way he grow up. You should pay attention to the way he talks about his parents, siblings, grandparents and friends in general. You should pay attention to the way he talks about them, if he respects and admires them. Remember that the same respect he offers to his family will be the same he’ll offer to yours and the family you are about to create. Remember that this is the man you want to have kids with, so family values are extremely important.
- What’s the biggest sacrifice you have made for a person?-You want a man who commits, a man who will cross the world to be with you, so this is a very important question. You want a man who makes big sacrifices for you, not who will completely change himself to please you but who will realize when something is very important to you. Big sacrifices that I personally appreciate can be: moving to another state or country just to be with the person you love; having a successful long distance relationship; change your faith; stop eating an specific kind of food.
- What would you change about yourself?– If he just thinks about personal appearances he’ll want to change something about his body. This can tell you that he’s a person with a low self-esteem, with insecurities and doubts about his performance. If he’s a confident kind of person he’ll want to change maybe a certain way of approach matters, a certain way of dealing with certain people. While it’s not a good signal for a man to want to change almost everything about himself, is not a good signal either a man who doesn’t think he needs to change something. Nobody is perfect, there’s always something we want to change. If a man is so proud of himself that thinks he’s perfect or he doesn’t need to change anything, then that’s definitely not the kind of man you want to date or have a family with.
I’m sure there are other different other questions that will also tell you if the man you are dating is “the one” or not. Just remember that nothing is absolute, this questions and possible right answer don’t necessarily mean that any other answer is wrong. While I wouldn’t advice you to ask this questions on a first date, you should wait too long in a relationship to do it. You should choose the right way and moment to ask him, usually one question at a time will give you a deeper communication level, after all you don’t want him to feel like in a police interrogatory, you want to give him his own time and space to honestly answer those question.
You should also pay a lot of attention to your guy’s manner with other people, always make sure that he’s the kind of person who treats waiters, waitresses, sellers and service people in general in a generous way. A good way to read your couple’s soul is on the way he interacts with children, you want the kind of man who respects them, love them, plays with them, doesn’t lose with patience while being with them. I personally think that kids have an special way of knowing when a person has a good heart, so I usually trust kids instincts