Whats the Game Men Play?

I have this friend of mine who just a couple weeks ago called me so excited. She said this guy she saw a long while back (about 1 and a half years) emailed her and after chatting a bit on one of those Instant Messege programs, was professing his love for her and telling her how he felt they were “soul mates”. So this girlfriend of mine, was falling right back into his game all over again. She was so excited that he was talking to her this way and feeling this way she thought that she would propose a meeting with him.

They got together and her being the good christian girl she is “only kissed” during that date. He told her how much he missed her and how she was the one for him. She was so happy when she called me I could not help but be happy for her. I knew she had had a rough bout being here from her home country for such a long time, away from her family and friends and finally it seemed that things in her life were looking better again for her on the “guy front”.

I had met this guy once and although he may be really good at his current job, I could not get a good handle on him personally. He seemed to be very secretive about his life, not opening up, either he was unable to trust or is not to be trusted. All I knew is that my dear friend really was into him and she was so happy, I was happy for her happiness…but reserved at the same time.

Well as it turns out the guy professed how “into her” he was and how they were “soul mates” and that when they kissed “it seemed like it was meant to be”. Well her date went awesome and she tried to call him once during the week. He had said they would see each other the following week. She tried to IM him and to no avail as he blew her off most of the time. She tried calling and he did not respond or answer the call. I just don’t get it!

As it turns out the guy had lied about a bunch of things to her and she found out and called him on it. But the thing that bothers me, is why say all those things to someone to get them thinking that this could be it for them and then just be such an $#@! I don’t understand men.

Are there any good, straight men out there in their 30’s 40’s who are not into head games?

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7 thoughts on “Whats the Game Men Play?

  1. Sorry that your friend had to go through this but it happens sometimes. Men go out with a woman and sometimes he doesn’t get to complete his mission. Sorry to be crude but he probably never got the opportunity to bed her. Later, something he see’s or hears reminds him of her and he decides to reach out to her again, hoping this time he would accomplish his objective. I noticed that you stated your friend has good Christian values and she would only kiss him on the date. Good for her! Because in his mind he was hoping that over the time they were apart she had changed and therfore maybe now,would give him what he was after the first time they were together. I’m really happy your friend was smart enough to keep things under control and I know it hurt her alot that he didn’t call again, but she should be happy to know that even if he’d have gotten what he was after, he still wouldn’t have called.
    There was a reason they are not together and only she knows that reason. She may not want to admit it but she knows. Time has a way of making us forget the bad part of old relationships and we tend to hang onto the good memories, that’s why she was so excited to hear from him again. Unfortuantely he’s still the same sorry self centered S.O.B. he was the first time around and he’ll probably remain that way until some woman convinces him that she will not break his heart, again. With that he’ll learn to trust and in time he’ll see women in a whole new light and probably end up like me, doing everything he can to make right every wrong he’s done to women over the years.
    I hope this helps you at least a little.



    1. I don’t know when you posted this – but it’s so helpful to me. I am in a similar situation and there are so many similarities. At least ur contribution helps me understand why there seems to be a cycle in this relationship.

  2. A woman has got to keep her options open. Very open until a man shows her not mere words. She should not have been into a man that gave her no ground to stand on. She was more in love with the idea of who he was versus the man himself. I also believe that woman should explore many different men in terms of internet chatting and dating. She should rejoice and cut her losses this guy was aggravated that he did not get laid. To me that was the most obvious part of that date. For instance it has been a month since I have chatted with this guy that I met from the internet and out of the clear blue he sends me a IM. Men don’t forget anything and unlike us ladies don’t attach themselves too quickly. This is the key to healthier relationships for us ladies. Those options bring freedom I promise. I am a single mother and cannot afford a loser in my life right now.

  3. Guys pretty much want one thing. I am sorry for your friend but falling for a guy after a couple of IM chats shows weakness and the guy probably picked up on it.

    Fact, married guys that are satisfied physically by their wives don’t look around. Married guys that don’t get enough are on the hunt.

    A single guy always wants it because he does not get enough.

    Do the math, it’s a simple formula. Guys need physical attention and if a woman meets that need she won’t have trouble finding and then keeping one.

    We really are that simple.

    ….and you ask;

    “Are there any good, straight men out there in their 30’s 40’s who are not into head games?”

    Yes, lower your standards regarding looks and a perfect body, the GQ or surfer dudes are more likely to be head cases. The average guy will be very thankful and very loyal.

  4. Hi – It’s great to find such topical stuff on the Internet as I have been able to fiind here. I agree with most of what is written here and I’ll be returning to this website again. Thanks again for publishing such great reading material!!

  5. try being a teenage girl with the same problem. the only difference is he was the first guy to ever show he didnt just want what they all want. i didnt end up giving it to him but it still hurts like crazy to find out it was all a game. every word and gesture was just to get into my pants. and people wonder why the lesbian rate is going up…

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