How to be a friend

Living in a foreigner country can be lonely sometimes, being away from family, our friends are basically all we have to survive the distance and homesickness. Most of the time, friends you meet in other countries have a completely different background, have a different traditions and behaviors, so it takes more effort to make new friends and to keep them close to you. Since we have no option on choosing our own family, is actually and advantage that we can choose our friends, so with a little effort you can create many friendships that will last forever and will overcome distance and culture obstacles.
This few tips will help you make and very good friends, not only while in another country but also on our own home.

In friendship like in any other kind or relationship or business, you get what you give. You need to be willing to give yourself completely and trust your friends, so you can get the same in return. Deep, lasting bonds with friends require some work and cultivation, but in the end, the rewarding of a network of truly loving and supporting friend who help you feel less alone is far beyond any work you may put on it.

To be a good friend and expect others to be good friends to you too, you need to understand that </Bfriends need to be there in the good and in the bad times, a friend will not only celebrate your birthdays and promotions, but will also hold your hand when you are sick, will take you to a hospital when you need it, will offer his shoulder for you to cry.

You should also remember important dates and occasions for your friends, is important that you remember their birthdays, their wedding anniversaries. You should also wish them good luck before their exams, before jobs interviews, before a date, you should also call to see how did the meeting go, or how did the blind date end up, the most important is that you need to show them that you care for them and you remember what’s important for them.

You should learn about your friends past, specially if you are in another country, I’m not talking about an interrogatory, but try to inquire about their past experiences, their family backgrounds, their past relationships. That will not only help you understand their feeling, their relationships with other people but will also help your understand their reactions on certain situations. You can start by sharing about your past, show them your old childhood and family pictures so they can show you yours or plan trips to your hometowns.

For a healthy and deep relationship with your friends, you’ll have to learn to identify their body and love language. Every person has a different way of expressing their feelings, different countries, different culture people sometimes find it very hard to communicate and express their love, and sometime we are scare of disrespect. While in some countries hugging and kissing is very common, for others is not appropriate, so you have learn first so you won’t feel embarrassed or offended when someone doesn’t respond to your love demonstrations the same way you do.

A very good way to deep your friends bound is to create traditions with them, it can be going out for breakfast once a week if you don’t live very close to each other, or go out once a week or even once a month. Men can also have game dates, they can make a tradition of watching their favorite teams games together. It can be something as common as playing cards once a week or as unusual as volunteer for the same organization or shelter. This small traditions are most of the time created even without us noticing it, they help us keep special memories of our friendship and act as a base or foundation in the years to come. You’ll realize also how we make of those traditions something exclusively between our friends and us, we usually don’t let others join us.

The same way you accept other peoples mistakes, flaws and habits, you need to respect, accept and forgive your friends. No one is perfect, we are not perfect, so is impossible also for our friends to be perfect. You need to also learn to respect your friends personal choices, identify and accept your friends faults and imperfections as well as forgive your friends mistakes. If they are really good friends to you and you wish them to be to you, you’ll have to accept them as completely human beings with their imperfections, with their flaws and all.

Even if we always expect our relationships to be perfect, they are not. Sometimes you’ll have conflicts, arguments and even fights with your friends, with the right attitude those can become on our friendships strong points. Real friends go way beyond social niceties, if your relationship is deep and sincere, you’ll feel confident enough to give pieces of advice to your friends, you’ll criticize them in a constructive way and most important is that you should fight clean. Never argue to hurt your friend’s feelings.

To be a good friend, you’ll have to also learn to identify when your friends are having a bad moment and help them even if they don’t ask for help. I have a very good friend, not my every-day-shopping kind of friends, but a real one, who has the ability to identify my moods and whether something is wrong with me or not, just with a glance. Even if I have the biggest smiles, she’ll know when something is bothering me.

What kind of friend are you?
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