How do deal with cheating

At the end of the day, we are all humans, we all make mistakes, we all hurt other people. I always say that I would never forgive a cheating significant other, but the truth is that I’ve never being in that kind of situation, maybe it is because I try to always keep love alive in the relation and to me while there is love, it won’t be cheating; probably is just because I try to keep communication on my relationships, enough to let my significant other tell me about his feelings, about his doubts and sort things out before it is so late that there’s cheating.

While some people like me think that cheating is a failure of the relationship, other people think that cheating is just a mistake, a crisis like any other one in a couple’s life. I’ve seen many couples live happy forever even after that kind of situation. I always wondered how could they make it, and it turns out that there are ways to make it work.

If you cheated on your significant other, or if you just found out that your significant other cheated on you, and you are willing to still make the relationship work, here are a few tips you should consider:

TIP 1: Say the truth. It doesn’t matter what was the nature of the affair you or your partner had, it is very important that the straying partner come clean about the entirety of the affair. Whether it might seem cruel or unnecessary, it is important that your couple trusts you again.

TIP 2: Avoid details. While I suggested before to tell the truth, is not necessary to give graphic or explicit details. It is very important that you or your cheating couple be honest, but too much explicitly might just be cruel and can hurt your couple’s feelings.

TIP 3: Limit the amount of outbursts. Once you or your couple decided to forgive infidelity, it is important that the grieving process ends fast. Otherwise the whole center of the relationship will be the blame for the mistakes.I do think that the guilty partner deserves at some point some kind of punishment, you should be careful don’t end up punishing yourself with a bad mood and inability to trust again. If you or your partner feel that the grieving period is longer than it is supposed to be and the relationship does not go forward, I would suggest a couple’s counseling service or just finish the relationship for everybody’s happiness.

TIP 4: Discover the reason of the cheating. There are many reasons for infidelity, to my believe probably the most common causes of infidelity is the need to feel special, loved and attractive. I personally don’t think there’s reason big enough to lead a partner to cheat, but if you are willing to forget the whole situation, the most important step to take is to find the deep reasons to the cheating that usually go way deeper than: “I was drunk”. If you can’t decide the real cause of the cheating, again I suggest you to find a couple’s counseling specialist.

I do think that a relationship can work after one of the couple cheated. I won’t way it’s easy, but if there’s love, commitment and confidence, those are enough reasons to give it a try and overcome the crisis.

Do you have any other advice?

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9 thoughts on “How do deal with cheating

  1. optimistic isn’t bad,
    awareness must be kept…
    if one could do it the first time,
    the second is not impossible

    Jiali

  2. Personally, I think that if a person cheats once, they are almost surely going to do it a second (or more) time. But this time, they will hide it better having learned what not to do from the first time.

    Not to mention its very hard to trust again after that promise to be monogamous has been broken. I think I would always have in the back of mind where they are when they say they will be home late from work.

  3. I wish i had read this before i met my ex husband…he fitted everything you said about the jealous man to a tee. At the time i thought his jealousy was cute but as time went on it became worse and i begin to see it for what it really was…insecurity. Ladies pay attention to the signs!!

  4. My boyfriend cheated on me. And I could never forgive him. What he did was stupid. I couldn’t believe it. We love each other so much. He was always like a nice guy who goes church every Sunday. We’ve done so much for each other. One day we had a fight and the next day he happened to see his ex-friend that he broke up with for over two year. They never saw each other for two years. He doesn’t like her. She called and asked him if he wanted to go grab some lunch; they went to subway and then she asked him if he wanted to see her new place. He got into a car with her. What was he thinking? I don’t get it? They had sex. He had sex with her for no reason. We love each other so much…I don’t get it? He told me this a day later and begging me not to leave him…I don’t know? He told me he wasn’t thinking. I could never take him back. He said he’ll try everything…but I just can’t do this. I could never do this kind of things to him; I don’t get it how can someone you love so much did something like this to you…it’s so awful.

    Can you say that I should get back with him?

    1. If it were me, I would have a hard time forgetting and forgiving. Men sometimes do somethings are very stupid and often when it comes to sex they don’t think. He never should have gotten in the car with her, but I am sure that someplace in his mind he must have thought for a split second what did I do? Taking him back is entirely up to you, but the hurt you are feeling and the trust will take a very long time to get over whether you are with him or not.

  5. Dealing with a cheating man is hard enough, but it’s an absolute hell when he find out about it by catching a disease from him. With 1 in 5 Americans infected with genital herpes, and the majority of them showing no symptoms, it probably happens more than we think.

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