How To Help Your Wife De-stress

To all the husbands out there – do you want to help your wife de-stress and take out some of the pressure she has at work and home? Check out the following ways you can do so:

1. Clean and romanticize the house. Nothing can stress a working woman more than coming home to a dirty house after a long day at work. If you happen to have a day off or you arrive home earlier, try to make your place a lot more orderly and romanticize it by either running a soothing bath or adding fresh flowers.

2. Serve her favorite drink as she gets home. After a tiring day, blow your wife away by having her favorite beverage ready for her when she comes home. Whether it’s her favorite coffee blend, some kind of shake, or a frosty iced tea, she’ll surely love indulging in it while resting.

3. Give her a massage. Of course, this is one of the surefire ways to fully please and relax a woman. I can’t remember a woman I met who doesn’t like massages, even once in a while. If you don’t know how to give massages, then now is the time to learn and surprise her.

Do you have more suggestions?

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How do deal with cheating

At the end of the day, we are all humans, we all make mistakes, we all hurt other people. I always say that I would never forgive a cheating significant other, but the truth is that I’ve never being in that kind of situation, maybe it is because I try to always keep love alive in the relation and to me while there is love, it won’t be cheating; probably is just because I try to keep communication on my relationships, enough to let my significant other tell me about his feelings, about his doubts and sort things out before it is so late that there’s cheating.

While some people like me think that cheating is a failure of the relationship, other people think that cheating is just a mistake, a crisis like any other one in a couple’s life. I’ve seen many couples live happy forever even after that kind of situation. I always wondered how could they make it, and it turns out that there are ways to make it work.

If you cheated on your significant other, or if you just found out that your significant other cheated on you, and you are willing to still make the relationship work, here are a few tips you should consider:

TIP 1: Say the truth. It doesn’t matter what was the nature of the affair you or your partner had, it is very important that the straying partner come clean about the entirety of the affair. Whether it might seem cruel or unnecessary, it is important that your couple trusts you again.

TIP 2: Avoid details. While I suggested before to tell the truth, is not necessary to give graphic or explicit details. It is very important that you or your cheating couple be honest, but too much explicitly might just be cruel and can hurt your couple’s feelings.

TIP 3: Limit the amount of outbursts. Once you or your couple decided to forgive infidelity, it is important that the grieving process ends fast. Otherwise the whole center of the relationship will be the blame for the mistakes.I do think that the guilty partner deserves at some point some kind of punishment, you should be careful don’t end up punishing yourself with a bad mood and inability to trust again. If you or your partner feel that the grieving period is longer than it is supposed to be and the relationship does not go forward, I would suggest a couple’s counseling service or just finish the relationship for everybody’s happiness.

TIP 4: Discover the reason of the cheating. There are many reasons for infidelity, to my believe probably the most common causes of infidelity is the need to feel special, loved and attractive. I personally don’t think there’s reason big enough to lead a partner to cheat, but if you are willing to forget the whole situation, the most important step to take is to find the deep reasons to the cheating that usually go way deeper than: “I was drunk”. If you can’t decide the real cause of the cheating, again I suggest you to find a couple’s counseling specialist.

I do think that a relationship can work after one of the couple cheated. I won’t way it’s easy, but if there’s love, commitment and confidence, those are enough reasons to give it a try and overcome the crisis.

Do you have any other advice?

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The Men We Don’t Want

Women are all different; we all like different kinds of men. But in general there are always a few characteristics that women don’t like in men.

We don’t want needy men. Is sweet to feel that a man needs us on his life, but is just unacceptable a needy man who “can’t live” without us. We don’t like men who want all our attention and affection. We want men who can give us also affection, a man who is confident and secure, that can take care of us.
We don’t want men who can’t take a break up. This might seems like if we are looking too much into the future, or that we are already predicting a bad ending, but a man’s reaction to a break up, says a lot about his personality and behavior. Is very nice to have a man who suffers from a break up, but is not a good sign a guy to just stop living when a woman decides to break up with him. I’ve seen some of my male friends getting destroyed, devastated by a break up, some of them want the woman to feel sorry for them, they act miserable, sick or depressed. I don’t mean to be harsh and I know some women do the same, but be aware of a man who can’t take a break up.
We don’t want a jealous man. To me is very sweet when a man feels a little bit jealous, that means he is afraid to lose you and that he cares about you. But there’s a difference between that simple jealousy and the sick kind of jealousy. I can’t accept a man who doesn’t let me talk to any other man, who doesn’t let me go out alone, who checks my emails and phone calls, that wants me to stay home all day. I’m sure that many women don’t want that either, so we have to be aware of early signals that our guy is the jealous type. If since your first date he is constantly asking you: “who were you talking to?”; if he insists on having your email password, if he checks your cloths every time you go out, think carefully before is too late.

We don’t want an abusive man. This specific topic have been talked about many times, but is still one of the most common mistakes we women make, we ignore and accept abusive men. I’m not talking about all women, but I know of many women who think they deserve to be hit or punished by their boyfriends and husbands. If you are like me who don’t want to accept a man to mistreat us, then you should also be aware of the early signals of an abusive man. First signal is usually the previous entry “jealous men”. Most extremely jealous men end up being abusive to their couples. Men with anger management problems usually tend to be abusive. If you realize that your guy usually loses his temper with other people, even if he hasn’t started with you yet, you should always watch that you might be the next victim.

If you are not completely sure of what kind of man you don’t want in your life, then start by readying what kind of man you DON’T want in your life. That way you can start by discriminating all man who enters in those categories. I don’t want to be too strict, but we women should love ourselves and find the right guy for us. We need guy that makes us happy and treats us like princesses.
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As a continuation to my previous post about going back to the dating scene, here’s another idea of things you shouldn’t do on a date. Sometimes we make these mistakes because we are very nervous on the first dates specially, or as a consequence for previous experiences. A first date is usually the first and deepest impression the other person will have of you, I’m sure that most of the time you don’t even want to see the person you date after a bad first date. So here’s a small guide of all those things that leave a really bad impression on your date:

DON’T be late or cancel your date: Nobody like to be stud up, so if you decide you don’t want to go on that date in the last minute, or if something extremely important came up, apologize in a polite way, call before the date time arrives and make sure to send at least a “Sorry message” for canceling or being late. For woman is sometimes ok to be late, but if you are going to be more than 30 minutes late to your date, for traffic or work reasons, make sure to call him and ask him to wait for him and offer to make it up for him by paying taxi or doing something he’ll appreciate.

DON’T have a bad appearance: Looking tired, sick or messy is definitely a date’s turn off. As I’ve said before is not about wearing the most expensive outfit but about looking clean and tidy. You should shave, comb your hair properly, apply some make up if you really know how to, otherwise is even better not to wear any make up and make sure your outfit and make up are appropriated for the dating place.

DON’T talk about sex/finances/politics/religion/work: These are very controversial topics that you shouldn’t be bring out on a date unless you really dislike him and just want to pick up a fight. Otherwise is never advisable to talk dirty or about sex, finances, politics or religion on a date, especially not in a first date. It’s definitely very important to learn about your date’s point of view about a certain topic, there are other ways and other occasion to do it. Unless your job is very interesting and will take you to a very animated conversation, avoid the talk about works, you don’t want him to think you are a workaholic and he definitely doesn’t need to know about your coworker’s conflicts.

DON’T talk about your ex: Your date doesn’t need or want to know about who wonderful your ex was, or how bad he was and the way he broke your heart. Try to avoid at all cost the “ex” talk. If you are still in love or hurting about your ex boyfriend or husband, your date is the wrong person to talk about it. Try to look at your new date as a completely new opportunity, as the beginning or something hopefully good, so never mix it with the sad memories from the past.

DON’T make plans for the future: Some women go on dates asking is that’s the right guy, the “one”, the future husband and father of her kid’s…big mistake. When going on a date you should never feel the pressure of starting a long lasting relationship. When you go on a date you should try to meet the person first and then take things slowly. Some men are really afraid of commitment, even if they are on a relationship already, so imagine what a turn off for a man to hear you talking about a future or a family together. It’s ok to let him know that you wish to meet/date him again, but be very careful to use the right words to give the right idea.

DON’T pick a fight: Whether it is with him, or with the driver, or the waitress, or just the woman staring at your guy, picking up a fight while on a date is a no-no situation. Women are supposed and expect to be feminine, sweet, understanding and polite, so picking up a fight during your date you’ll scare most man. They need to know that you are a responsible and patient person, who’ll listen and try to solve problems with words.

DON’T look bored or sad: If you look bored, tired or sleepy, your date will pick up the signs that the date is going wrong, and it will create a really uncomfortable situation. So even if you really are bored on the date, try not to stare are the ceiling or the floor, try not to play with your folk, try not to look at your watch every five minutes, or to check your phone for calls or messages, and definitely try not to strike up a conversation with someone around you. If you really are bored and don’t wish to continue on the date, try making an early morning excuse to go back home, that way he won’t feel completely bad about the bad date and you’ll avoid all the time killing techniques we hate so much.

DON’T make or accept work calls: If you know you are going on a date, make sure to clear your schedule for that time, so you won’t be getting annoying work calls in the middle of your romantic dinner. If can’t empty a few hours of your schedule to be on a date, your date will feel like there’s no time enough for him at all in your life.

I hope this few tips were useful and you’ll avoid them on your next date.
What have been your worst dating mistakes?

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How to be Miss Right

We women are always complaining about how hard it is to find our Mr Right. I’m sure most of you have already a full list of all the qualities you want on your Mr. Right, like if it was an item or something you can just order. But how many of us have actually hear a man complaining about how to find Miss Right? The truth is I have never hear such a thing, but when I talk to my male friends, I realize that they do have a list of the qualities they want on their Miss Right. They also wish to find the right person that make them smile, accompany, support them and specially make them a better person.This are some of those special qualities man like on their Miss Right:

1. A woman who takes good care of her couple. Most men want a woman to take care of them. If you are the kind of woman who is willing to leave your job or career to become a full time mother and wife, most men won’t have any problem with you taking care of them, but for those ones like me who prefer to pursue their career and at the same time be a good girlfriend or wife, a good caring mother, this can turn a little bit difficult. I certainly don’t think that taking care of the boyfriend, husband or family in general means necessarily spend 24 hours of your day cooking for him, doing his laundry or cleaning the house. I think that the whole concept of taking good care of your couple is deeper than that. It’s about a woman interest in her couple, in the woman’s ability to find a time in their busy schedule to ask how is he doing, to take a few minutes a day to ask him how did his day go, to worry about your boyfriend or husband’s cough or dry skin. Even if you are very busy at work or studies, you should find a way to let your couple know that you are there for them, that you care and worry about them and that your are willing to make sacrifices for him.

2. A woman who lets a man take care of her. The same way men like to be taken care of, they like to feel like they are providers and protectors. This won’t mean you’ll have to look useless so a man can actually love you, but learn to ask for your couple’s help when you need it, let him know when you need him to protect you, accept politely when he wants to help you, and if you must reject, do it in a nice and polite way, so he won’t feel neglected or useless. Even if sometimes we can fix something for ourselves, is nice to see the smile on our couple’s face when he helps us. And the most important thing about the whole helping and protecting thing, is to learn how to say thanks and not to overdue it to the point of becoming a burden to him. You can leave a small “Thank you note” on top of something he fixed, or a kiss on his cheek as a “thank you” can be very romantic for both of you.

3. An independent woman. Most men like a woman who knows her way around. A woman who can take decisions by herself and at the same time support her couple and let him know when he’s wrong. A woman who’s not afraid of giving her sincere opinion and standing out for herself.

4. A woman who is happy just to be with her couple. Men like a woman who can enjoy just the fact of being with him, whether it is in a basketball game eating hot dogs or in the fanciest restaurant. They like a woman who won’t get bored with his conversations, a woman who enjoys his company.

5. A woman who accepts her couple just the way he is. This has been said many times, but is actually true, man expect a woman to love them and accept them for who they are, a woman who doesn’t criticize him. If a woman can ignore the fact that her couple snores at night, or sometimes sweats a lot and still consider him a great person and be in love with him, then she’s definitely Miss Right for any man.

6. A woman who respects her couple. I’m not talking about the submissive kind of woman who thinks of her couple like the only one who is right and she needs to obey, but about the basic respect for his individuality, his likes and dislikes, his decisions, his believes… Men are above all human beings, they deserve the same respect and consideration we do, so they really appreciate a woman who’ll not necessarily agree with him on every single aspect of his life, but who’ll rather accept and respect him the way he is.

These are just a few of the many qualities a man looks in a woman, I hope it help woman understand what can they do better in a relationship and to pay some attention to the way they treat their couple, because sometimes even without us noticing it we emasculate them and hurt his feelings.

How do you think Miss Right should be?

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Love and Relationships Part 2

As I wrote in my previous post, communication is one of the key factors for a relationship to work. There are certain questions that you should ask before getting serious with your partner. The answer to all this questions will tell you about your partner’s personality, about his plans for the future, about his past experiences and mainly you’ll know what kind of person he is, if he’s shy or confident; if he’s insecure or very secure about himself.

Here are a few other questions you wish you asked before but are never too late to ask. I hope they are useful to you.

  1. Where do you see yourself in the next x years?– Us women are usually looking for the “husband material” kind of guy. A man who doesn’t know where does he want to be in the next few years, is a man who doesn’t plan to commit to a relationship. A man who has a clear vision of where and how does he want to be future, is the kind of man who knows what he wants, a man who is planning to commit and create a family.
  2. How is your family?– This will obviously tell you about his family background and you can learn about the way he grow up. You should pay attention to the way he talks about his parents, siblings, grandparents and friends in general. You should pay attention to the way he talks about them, if he respects and admires them. Remember that the same respect he offers to his family will be the same he’ll offer to yours and the family you are about to create. Remember that this is the man you want to have kids with, so family values are extremely important.
  3. What’s the biggest sacrifice you have made for a person?-You want a man who commits, a man who will cross the world to be with you, so this is a very important question. You want a man who makes big sacrifices for you, not who will completely change himself to please you but who will realize when something is very important to you. Big sacrifices that I personally appreciate can be: moving to another state or country just to be with the person you love; having a successful long distance relationship; change your faith; stop eating an specific kind of food.
  4. What would you change about yourself?– If he just thinks about personal appearances he’ll want to change something about his body. This can tell you that he’s a person with a low self-esteem, with insecurities and doubts about his performance. If he’s a confident kind of person he’ll want to change maybe a certain way of approach matters, a certain way of dealing with certain people. While it’s not a good signal for a man to want to change almost everything about himself, is not a good signal either a man who doesn’t think he needs to change something. Nobody is perfect, there’s always something we want to change. If a man is so proud of himself that thinks he’s perfect or he doesn’t need to change anything, then that’s definitely not the kind of man you want to date or have a family with.

I’m sure there are other different other questions that will also tell you if the man you are dating is “the one” or not. Just remember that nothing is absolute, this questions and possible right answer don’t necessarily mean that any other answer is wrong. While I wouldn’t advice you to ask this questions on a first date, you should wait too long in a relationship to do it. You should choose the right way and moment to ask him, usually one question at a time will give you a deeper communication level, after all you don’t want him to feel like in a police interrogatory, you want to give him his own time and space to honestly answer those question.

You should also pay a lot of attention to your guy’s manner with other people, always make sure that he’s the kind of person who treats waiters, waitresses, sellers and service people in general in a generous way. A good way to read your couple’s soul is on the way he interacts with children, you want the kind of man who respects them, love them, plays with them, doesn’t lose with patience while being with them. I personally think that kids have an special way of knowing when a person has a good heart, so I usually trust kids instincts

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8 Ways to know he’s in love!

heart of loveThe same way men find very hard to read a woman’s mind, for us women is also very hard to know what a man is thinking or feeling. I’ve read hundreds of articles and books about this specific topic. I personally don’t think there’s one authority about it or that there’s a scientific way to know what your guy is thinking or feeling. Through reading many of this kind of books and articles and my personal experience, I’ve found that there are definitely a few ways to identify when a man is in love with you.
You know he’s in love with you when:

  1. He smiles when he sees you: it seems obvious, but not all men instantly smile when they see his girlfriend. If you take in account that we smile when we see something we like, something that makes us happy, something that we enjoy, then it is a good signal if your boyfriend smiles when he sees you.
  2. He calls you, text message you and emails you very often: this is a clear sign that your boyfriend is really into you. Communication is not a man’s easiest tool, so if he’s make the effort to call you every day, or text message you several times a day, or just email you to say “I miss you”, or “I saw this and it remind me of you…” you can be almost sure that your guy is in love with you. He wouldn’t take the time to communicate with you if you weren’t important to him.
  3. He loves you just the way you are: We are not perfect, we are not always wearing the perfect outfit or the perfect make up, so if we find someone who loves you just the way we are, with our flaws and insecurities, then is almost sure that he’s the one and he’s pretty much in love with you. Who doesn’t like a man to compliment her when she’s going out with the new outfit you just bought for the occasion? All of us, but would you rather be complimented when you know you are gorgeous, or in the morning without any make up and a messy hair. I personally love a man who knows when you need to be complimented. Sometimes you are just exhausted from a hard day at work, or at school, you are overwhelmed with a bunch of projects or family matters, that’s the time when you most need a compliment, a hug, an “I love you”, and the man who really knows you and realizes that, you can be sure that that man loves you.
  4. He knows you: when a man really KNOWS you, then it means he had paid a lot of attention to you and is almost sure that he loves you. The man who really knows you can tell what’s your favorite color, food, day of the week, TV show even without asking you. He’ll know what bothers you and makes you happy. He’ll know the color of eyes. He knows exactly how you are feeling without asking you. If you realize that your boyfriend is that kind of man, then you can be sure that he loves you.
  5. He accepts you: when you realize that he accepts you just the way you are, then you say he’s in love with you and that’s the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life. If he accept your flaws, your eccentricities, your insecurities, your traditions, your religion, your taboos, then you can be sure that he loves you. Notice that he doesn’t necessarily need to love all of that, just accept you the way you are and never not try to change you.
  6. He has plans for you: if he’s already planning ahead your next trip, your next holidays, even if is still 4 months ahead, it means he sees his future and the rest of his life with you, then he loves you.
  7. He wants to spend time with you: when a man wants to spend most of his time with you, then is a clear sign that he’s more comfortable around you, that he wants to be a part of your life and he wants you to be a part of his life. You want a man who’ll choose to stay home cuddling and watching a movie with you than going for a beer with his friends. This is not an exclusive rule, man need their time alone too just like you, they enjoy being with their friends, so you can’t expect him to dump all of his friends just to be with you, you need a man who is ready, willing and would rather be with you, but who’ll sometimes also go out with his friends.
  8. He introduces you to his family: if he wants you to get to know his family it means he wants you to be a part of his family too. When a man is serious about you and about your relationship, he’ll want you and his family to get to know each other and get along.
    With all this said, then you’ll have a better idea of the different signs that you boyfriend is sending you to let you know he really loves you. Sometimes an action speaks better than words. Maybe he’s not the type of man who easily says I love you, but if he’s doing one of the above, then you’ll know he really does love you.

How do you know when a man loves you?

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