At the end of the day, we are all humans, we all make mistakes, we all hurt other people. I always say that I would never forgive a cheating significant other, but the truth is that I’ve never being in that kind of situation, maybe it is because I try to always keep love alive in the relation and to me while there is love, it won’t be cheating; probably is just because I try to keep communication on my relationships, enough to let my significant other tell me about his feelings, about his doubts and sort things out before it is so late that there’s cheating.
While some people like me think that cheating is a failure of the relationship, other people think that cheating is just a mistake, a crisis like any other one in a couple’s life. I’ve seen many couples live happy forever even after that kind of situation. I always wondered how could they make it, and it turns out that there are ways to make it work.
If you cheated on your significant other, or if you just found out that your significant other cheated on you, and you are willing to still make the relationship work, here are a few tips you should consider:
TIP 1: Say the truth. It doesn’t matter what was the nature of the affair you or your partner had, it is very important that the straying partner come clean about the entirety of the affair. Whether it might seem cruel or unnecessary, it is important that your couple trusts you again.
TIP 2: Avoid details. While I suggested before to tell the truth, is not necessary to give graphic or explicit details. It is very important that you or your cheating couple be honest, but too much explicitly might just be cruel and can hurt your couple’s feelings.
TIP 3: Limit the amount of outbursts. Once you or your couple decided to forgive infidelity, it is important that the grieving process ends fast. Otherwise the whole center of the relationship will be the blame for the mistakes.I do think that the guilty partner deserves at some point some kind of punishment, you should be careful don’t end up punishing yourself with a bad mood and inability to trust again. If you or your partner feel that the grieving period is longer than it is supposed to be and the relationship does not go forward, I would suggest a couple’s counseling service or just finish the relationship for everybody’s happiness.
TIP 4: Discover the reason of the cheating. There are many reasons for infidelity, to my believe probably the most common causes of infidelity is the need to feel special, loved and attractive. I personally don’t think there’s reason big enough to lead a partner to cheat, but if you are willing to forget the whole situation, the most important step to take is to find the deep reasons to the cheating that usually go way deeper than: “I was drunk”. If you can’t decide the real cause of the cheating, again I suggest you to find a couple’s counseling specialist.
I do think that a relationship can work after one of the couple cheated. I won’t way it’s easy, but if there’s love, commitment and confidence, those are enough reasons to give it a try and overcome the crisis.
Do you have any other advice?