The new slang…..EMO

I just had to write a post about this because it is very disconcerting that this is going on in schools throughout the USA and it is very upsetting to me.  

My friend has a daughter who is just about 13, her child is a very happy kid who suddenly fell silent and became very sullen during a recent car ride. She could tell her daughter was upset about something and asked her what was going on.  Her daughter began crying and told her that she knew something that would get someone into trouble and was sworn to secrecy along with several other friends who were there at the time.  She said one of her friends was “EMO”. Having no idea what EMO was, my friend had to ask.  Her daughter said it meant her friend was emotional.  EMO she said also relates to a style of music.  She also said that people who are EMO tend to wear dark, drab colors, but it is not like being “goth”.  

The thing that really was upsetting was the next part of what her daughter shared she spoke through her tears.  She said that this friend of hers who was EMO was cutting herself, self mutilating.  She shared that people who are EMO sometimes dabble in this type of behavior.  She made my friend swear that she not tell anyone this little secret she shared with her mother.

Now I know this girl, who is “EMO”, she is very sweet, I like her a lot.  She is a great student and seems like an overall good kid.  She confided in my friend during a conversation that there were some real family issues going on.  Her father was an alcoholic, her parents divorced, her mother worked too many hours trying to make a living to take care of her children.  Running a single parent household with teenagers is no easy task, by any stretch of the imagination.  

We just had our spring break from school.  Before the break her daughter and this friend had a fight and are not talking, not sure why.  My friend has not seen the girl in a few weeks.  I know that some of the kids in the class were checking her to see if she was still at the cutting.  It sounded to me like it kind of turned into a game, with one kid chasing the girl throughout the classroom before school to check her for marks. The girl ran from him.  What a HUGE burden for 12 and 13 year olds!  The girl told my friend daughter that because of the fight she thought she may go back and cut herself again.  I totally understood why my friends daughter was crying about this, but yet she needed to get it off her chest and swore my friend to secrecy.  

So now for the past couple weeks I sit here with this huge burden on my back.  I have not had a good nights sleep in over a week now.  Do I break my daughters trust and tell someone who can help?  Do I forget about it and see what happens?  

Breaking the trust as my friends daughter is entering her teen years will cut my friend off from communication with her and then when her own child may be in danger, she will not know and not be able to help.  Losing her daughters trust and confidence in her would completely alter their relationship. Breaking the special bond they have would be devastating to both of them.

After doing some research from online sources and family members in the medical field, the case of EMO or self mutilation is not typical.  This type of behavior is usually secretive and not shared with others.  The fact it was shared to me is the girl crying out for help.  I also found that after a while of cutting in the same spot the feeling in that spot dies and it does not hurt anymore, so the cutter goes deeper, or moves onto another part of their body.  The possibility of hitting a major artery and bleeding to death with no one around to help is very real, and quite scary.

So here my friend is, very upset and confused about this situation.  She and I have asked a bunch of other friends what would they do without mentioning names.  None of them have an answer, but yet they keep calling us to see what we have done.  Guess one of us has to undergo a major situation like this first.  We then share the results and the outcome with one another, and hopefully all become wiser in the end so we can better deal with a situation like this should it ever arise again….which I pray not, but likely this will not be the end of hearing a story like this.  As this method of self mutilation seems to be common in our schools and parents and teachers alike are blind to it.  The kids make a great effort in hiding it from us all. My friend asked her daughter, which do you think would be easier to live with;

1.  If you lost your friend because she found out you told, but you helped get the help she needs so she stops this torture to herself.

2.  If she cut too deep and hit and artery and died, and you knew about this problem she had and did nothing?

The answer was of course losing the friend.  So that being said, she still does not know what to do with this info.  Anyone have any advice?

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What’s my teen up to?

terri What are your kids doing on the internet and where they actually going when they are just “going to get something to eat”? I know I have wondered that a time or two. There are ways to keep track of their email and what and who they talk to on the net. In today’s world of technology, there is no excuse to not know what your teens are up to. If you want to know, there are simple ways to find out what’s going on. Keep your kids safe on the internet. Take the time to do some investigating into what your teens are actually up to. Here are a few methods to track your teens activities without them even knowing you are checking on them.

Cell phone sim card spy– you can tap into all files on a cell phone SIM card for viewing, saving or editing. Allows you to find deleted text and numbers, view last 10 numbers dialed. Transfer data from one SIM to another. This little device allows you to program your SIM card only to dial numbers and make calls that you permit (perfect for controlling children’s calls). Allows you to backup, restore and edit their phone book. One restriction is it can only be used with phones that use sim cards.

Another great device for anyone who has teens, is a GPS tracking device that can be placed in the car. The T-trac XS Internet GPS Car Tracking System makes it possible to locate the vehicle online. It will also send speeding alerts and unapproved locations to your phone or email. How cool is that? It does all the work for you, all you have to do is be willing to find out.

Wondering what your teen is up to on the net? Use a key logger to find out exactly what they are saying. A key logger tracks every stroke keyed on your computer for you to review at a later time. There is a 64k mini keylogger you can use that will record more than 64,000 strokes. This is useful for acquiring email logins and finding out who they are chatting to and what they are chatting about. You can also download a keylogger program off the net. There is one you can try for free before you buy. It is the Elite Keylogger, and it is very easy to use.

    These are a few items you can use to keep tabs of your kids, but you can also just start to pay attention to them. Be alert and remember what they say, meet all of their friends they hang out with, don’t just let them tell you where they are going, you find out for sure, and for for goodness sakes KNOW what they are doing on the internet. The internet is the information highway…that means they may be giving out all their information to anyone or they may be looking up things they have no business looking up. Put some restrictions on the internet, please.

     There is a multitude of items on the market today that helps keep track of all your teen does even if you think you don’t need them. There is no such thing as a perfect child, especially when that child is a teen, so be wary if you think you have a “perfect teen”. Some investigating may prove otherwise or it may reassure you that they are trustworthy. In this day and age, you have a responsibility to take care of your kids and be sure they are taking care of themselves, so handle it. With a little bit of ingenuity you can think up lots of ways to keep an eye on them. Are you ready to find out what they are doing?

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Teen Acne

Teen acne is a very common condition. Most of the time is caused by hormones, but teen stress can also be a factor. during this delicate stage in a kids life, it is a tough thing to be cursed with this condition. The ridicule they undergo is so detrimental to their self esteem, it can last their entire life. Effects that acne can have a teen may include: social withdrawal, low self-esteem, self-confidence, embarrassment, depression, poor body image, anger and discouragement. Acne is typically a sign that it may not just be a physical symptom that must be addressed, but also an emotional one.

How does Acne develop?

Acne can develop when a hair follicle (pores) become clogged with dead skin cells, oil from the sebaceous gland or bacteria. The oil in skin, is supposed to help move the hair follicle through to the skins surface and becomes dispensed on the skins surface when the hair emerges. In some teens however, the oil remains under the skin and a pimple develops.

What causes Acne to develop?

During the formative teens years, the sebaceous gland tends to be highly active and produces oil at a faster rate then in adult years, this is partially due to hormonal changes. What causes some people to have a full breakout and others to have no acne at all varies depending on a bunch of factors for that person. Hereditary is one factor. Chances are if a parent had acne as a teen, chances are that their child will also develop this condition. Other contributing factors to teen acne can be diet, system disorders, premenstrual, food allergies, mold or chemical allergies, over growth of yeast in the body, or even thyroid, liver or bowel disfunction.

While no two people have the same reasons for acne developing, it does affect millions of teens.

There are ways to help eliminate teen acne.

Having a pre-teen, we are faced with this issue with my 12 year old daughter. Her friends do not seem to mention it to her, but I know when she looks in the mirror she feels very down because of what her face looks like, most kids would.

Popping pimples is not a cure for teen acne, that only exacerbates the problem, making it red and swollen and gives the huge potential of causing bigger issues down the road, face pitting and scarring. I always tell my daughter, no matter how bad it seems, NEVER pop your pimples! For some reason it is so tempting to them to do this.

The best way to help control acne is through diet and proper nutrition. Eating healthy and having balanced meals alleviate acne symptoms. Being overweight is also a contributing factor in acne. Most overweight people do not have a healthy balanced diet required to maintain healthy skin.

Taking a multi vitamin is also a wise idea. Surprisingly teens do not take a multi vitamin. It is very, very important to take one especially during this time in their life when they are going through so many biological and physical changes. A vitamin that actually tastes good (like a starburst fruit chew) and also has a Adaptogen and Immunity Blend of herbs that help alleviate teen stresses is part of vitamins designed specifically for teens that my kids love. This blend of herbs includes Elderberry, Astragalus root, Shitake, Maitake, Rhodiola extract, codonopsis, bilberry extract, ashwaganda, and andrographis. It also includes a blend of all the fruits and vegetables that teens generally do not eat at all: orange fruit, lemon fruit, cranberry, grape seed extract, pineapple, apple, pomegranate, tomato, carrot, spinach, celery, broccoli, green pepper, turnip, alfalfa leaf, kale, pumpkin, cabbage, bioflavanoids and hesperidin. Of course it also contains all the Daily Value of vitamins that are required for optimum health by the FDA.

Most teens do not drink nearly enough water during the day. Increase of their water intake will also allow their bodies to flush the toxins out of their bodies faster so they do not have time to build up in their systems to then be excreted through their skin in the form of acne.

Cleansing the skin daily with a gentle, non-abrasive cleanser that is non-drying is also a must for acne free skin.  It gently cleanses the skin without stripping the essential oils it needs to be healthy. It is a self adjusting cleanser so it ideal for the t-zone, when you have part oily part dry skin. It equals out the t-zone giving you healthier skin.

Finally, if after doing all of the recommended things mentioned to eliminate acne, if there is still a problem with your skin, I would consult a professional dermatologist to see if there are any other health issues in your body that are contributing to your skins ill health.

What can you recommend about the prevention or elimination of acne?
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Be yourself

BrownBobbi-TeenageBeauty00 “The reason I wrote the book is because there are so many girls who are so beautiful and so special, but they just don’t see it”

                                                                                                    ——Bobbi Brown

      I was in the bookstore one day and found the book, Teenage Beauty by famed Make-up artist Bobbi Brown. She talks about alot of helpful things that every young girl should know about beauty and make-up. When asked why she wrote the book she answered “The reason I wrote the book is because there are so many girls who are so beautiful and so special, but they just don’t see it”. I agree 100% with her, but not just about teens but adult women, too. It is so easy to look at models, actresses and people in the media and think that’s how you want to look or dress. When in truth, you’ll look best and feel best when you just do you. Be Yourself!

     Bobbi Brown states that you should find a role model, someone you can relate to. Someone who has the same features, color tone and body type as you do. An ethnic or shorter girl should not try to emulate Heidi Klum.  Learn to appreciate and love yourself now and you will be more self confident and happy as you grow up. Right skin care should begin at 12, with skin cleansing products. When choosing products for a teen, the simpler the better.

     The most important thing for a teen to remember is, skin care is the most important thing you do for yourself. If you really want to wear make-up, try to use sheers in eye shadow, blush, and lips. On your lips a glosser, try lip gloss,  with a tint should be great. If you do have blemishes that you are bothered by, a foundation can be used only on the blemish. You should never use foundation all over. Eye liners and mascara should definitely by saved for 16 yrs and up. For older teens you may like a tinted moisturizer or a bronzer, and pass on the foundation.

     This is a great book for teens, it helps to make them start to appreciate their own natural beauty and it is packed with alot of good advice. It explains everything they want/need to know about beauty at their age and for when they are growing older. I like the stress it puts on skin care. I don’t think alot of girls realize just how important it is to be yourself and how great you can look by just doing that!

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